F is for...Faux Pas, Felonies and Fails

Reading is usually a solitary activity. The advantage of this is that we can set our own rules about how we want to read. But when other people get involved with our literary lives it’s a different matter. From graffiti on the cover jacket to unsolicited spoilers, there seems no end to the faux pas our fellow humans can commit against our bookshelves. Here, are my top five literary sins…

1. Defacement

This is a broad category that refers to any kind of biblio-abuse. I’m talking folding down corners, using the book as a coaster, dropping a book into the bath, bending the spine to its full capacity. Of course, its fine if we want to write in the margin of our own books but that’s our prerogative.

2. Spoilers

Endings are important to readers (be reminded why in this post here). They are the bucket of gold at the end of the rainbow. To have it snatched out of our hands half way through is a literary betrayal that deprives us of reaching our finish line.

3. Distractions

This is the most indulgent on the list but one that must be included. However much we might want to hide in the fantasy worlds we find on the page, life does go on. But sometimes we readers might wonder why it must go on so loudly. High volume conversations on trains, unexpected visitors, pets demanding attention – all cut into essential reading time. Possible solution: take a ‘business trip’, wink wink.

4. Unreturned Books

‘Neither a borrower nor a lender be.’ No true literary lover can stand by these words. After all, if we all lived by this ethos there would be no libraries, and our level of debt would be as far reaching as our bookshelves. But what is unforgivable is misplacing a book. I would advise keeping books of sentimental values under lock and key. And if you do ever lose a book that isn’t yours, prepare to grovel with a book voucher.

5. Insults

Literary lovers expect and welcome debate. Some of us even go as far as to dedicate years of our lives studying to develop our own critical literary voices in university. What no bookish fan likes, though, is throwaway insults aimed at our most beloved books and authors – ‘Virginia Woolf isn’t all that’, ‘Harry Potter is just a kid’s book’, ‘The classics are so boring’. And don’t get me started on conspiracy theorists – Bramwell Bronte did not write Jane Eyre. End of.

What literary faux pas, felonies and fails most anger you? Let me know in the comment section below!